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Page 2


  When I entered the back room a glut of sights, sounds and smells came to me all at once, nearly knocking me onto my ass. The first thing I saw was the drummer, Quinn, strutting around without his shirt, a girl attached to each side, their fingers stroking the multitude of tattoos that decorated his chest and arms. Seth, the guitarist, was spread out on an old ratty sofa drinking a beer, laughing at something one of the other guys sitting by him had said. Devon, with her pink pigtails still bouncing, stood in the corner smoking a cigarette and hugging her bass guitar to her chest like a lover.

  I smelled sweat and perfume and beer and the sweet odor of marijuana. I heard boisterous laughter and good natured ribbing and the distinctive giggles of girls overwrought with too many pheromones. I sucked it all in and grinned.

  I made it. I was here, in the same damn room as my favorite band of all time, Malice.

  Giddy with excitement and nearly bouncing in my Doc Martens, I scanned the packed room for Thane. He was why I was here. He was my sole mission. Pushing through the throng, I tuned my ears to the sound of his voice. I'd only have to follow the music.

  Ten minutes later I'd checked the whole room, but didn't find him. Maybe he stepped out for a bit. Maybe he had to go to the bathroom. I was sure rock gods urinated once in awhile. I wasn't going to give up. I'd stand here all night; well it was around midnight already, so all morning until I tracked him down.

  A sudden icy breeze brushed over my skin. The hairs on the back of my neck rose and a shiver raced down my spine.

  "You look thirsty."

  I swung around, my heart pounding so hard I could hardly breathe.

  Thane stood behind me, towered over me really, his eyebrow arched sexily and a wry smile on his perfectly sculpted face. His hand held a bottle of beer which he held out to me.

  My tongue felt thick and it stuck to the roof of my mouth as if I'd just eaten a peanut butter sandwich. Instead of speaking I just nodded and took the offered drink from his fingers. I put it to my lips and took a long drink hoping to wash some of that stickiness out of my mouth.

  As I drank he watched me, his gaze was fierce, powerful, sexy as hell. God, I had to put a hand to my stomach to stop it from turning over and over like a wave pool gone wild. It was then I noticed just how dark his eyes were. A brown so deep it was almost black. It should've looked eerie, scary even, but I found it even sexier.

  "What's your name?"

  My eyes widened. Was he really asking me for my name? I inconspicuously glanced over my shoulder to make sure I was the girl he was really talking to and there wasn't some big-breasted bleach blond bimbo behind me laughing at the joke.

  "Salem," I managed to squeak.

  "I saw you in the crowd."

  I nearly choked on the next sip of beer I took. "You did?"

  He grinned. My knees turned to jelly.

  "Yeah, I liked what I saw."

  "R-r-really?"

  He nodded and moved closer to me. From this distance I could smell his cologne, or it could've been his natural scent, except it smelled a lot like black licorice. Could guys naturally smell like that?

  Before I could say anything, he touched me. A light caress of his finger on my cheek. I sighed, and then pressed my lips together to stop from making more of a fool out of myself by moaning his name. I was acting as if a guy had never touched me before. I'd made out a couple of times. I wasn't an amateur.

  But this was Thane. And he was a rock god. And I knew, just knew, I had fallen in love.

  "You're going to bruise." His finger trailed down to my split lip. He pressed on the cut. I could feel the wound crack open again.

  Wincing, I pulled away. On the tip of Thane's finger was a pinprick of blood. Still smiling, he sucked his finger into his mouth.

  "I think you're beautiful."

  I gaped at him. I couldn't possibly have heard the words he uttered. It was impossible. Cute maybe, I'd been called that a few times, but nobody thought I was beautiful. Except my mom of course.

  "What?" I stammered.

  That was the last thing I said before my whole life changed, altered beyond anything I could've ever imagined. And I had a healthy imagination.

  Thane leaned down toward my mouth, slowly inching his way. My lips were trembling in anticipation as he neared. I could feel his breath on my skin. Keeping my gaze, strong, fierce, confident, he brushed his lips against mine.

  Then I fainted.

  Chapter 3

  I woke up smacking my lips. The putrid taste sticking to the insides of my cheeks and to my tongue was indescribable. The closest depiction would be a combination of sour milk and garlic. Not good. The second thing I noticed when I woke was the smell invading my nose. It was even worse than the horrid bite in my mouth. I had to swallow down the urge to gag.

  My head ached something awful. Like I'd drunken copious amounts of alcohol, retched until my brains felt like they'd explode out of both my nose and ears, and went to sleep with the room spinning. Stretching out some wicked kinks in my neck and back, I blinked open my eyes to complete darkness.

  Heart racing, I moved my hands around me to get my bearings. Underneath my palms, I felt things like crumpled paper, different fabrics—leather maybe or vinyl—slick plastic, and wet mushy substances I didn't even want to consider. It seemed like I was lying on a pile of garbage. But that couldn't be possible. Had I passed out at the club and was lying on the dirty floor? I sat up and smacked my head on something metal by the ringing sound reverberating all around me, making my ears hurt.

  Scrambling to my knees, I lifted my hands above me and groped around trying to figure out where exactly I was. My fingers brushed against sharp pieces of metal, twice pricking my fingers and making them bleed, and across other gooey things that made bile rise in my throat. Still seeking some purpose, my hand came across a lever of some sort and I pushed on it as hard as I could.

  The metal roof above me sprung open, clanging so loud it made my teeth rattle. I stuck my head up and took in a much needed breath of untainted air. Surprisingly, the afternoon sun beamed down on my face as I squinted up into it trying to orient myself and figure out where the hell I was. Reality crashed down on me like a bucket of ice cold water.

  I was kneeling in a garbage dumpster.

  Gripping the side of the canister, I peered down both ways of the alley. I was downtown, that much I knew from the size of some of the buildings but on what street I couldn't tell. Thankfully it wasn't garbage day and the bin was still partially full or I wouldn't have been able to jump out or pull myself out. Empty dumpsters were pretty deep. I knew because I'd done my fair share of dumpster diving for various things that big department stores always threw out. It was surprising how many pairs of jeans I'd found that way.

  Balancing on the pile of trash, I set both hands on the metal rim and vaulted out. My grade nine phys-ed teacher would've finally been proud of me for doing something remotely athletic. When I landed, I noticed that my boots were unlaced. The rest of my clothes seemed to be together. Thankfully, I still had my t-shirt on and my jeans.

  The last thing I remembered was being at the club and talking to Thane. He had kissed me and I had...I had passed out? So, what in hell was I doing here in the trash as if I'd been tossed away like old dirty socks or used tissues. If I didn't know any better I'd think I was in some serious shit.

  I needed some perspective on things. I had to call Chloe. I patted my right front pocket for my cell phone. It was empty. I checked the other pocket to find it empty as well. Frantic, I reached fingers into my back pocket for my money clip and my ID. But I pulled out nothing but lint and tiny shredded pieces of paper—I must've washed my jeans with a receipt or something in the pocket.

  "Shit." I glanced at the dumpster. Maybe everything was still inside. Although I had no idea what I'd been doing inside the downtown garbage bin in the first place, I needed to find my cell phone and my other personal items. I'd deal with everything else once I had my things back. I was sure I could think b
etter with them in my hands. But how was I going to get back in?

  I glanced down the alleyway looking for anything I could stand on so I could jump back into the bin. Halfway down the cement wall, I spied an aluminum trash can situated next to one of the many back doors lining the alleyway. It was the same kind we had at a home that I dragged out to the curb every Wednesday for garbage pick up.

  It was full and heavy. As I began to drag down the road to the dumpster, the back door to one of the restaurants along the street facing opened and an elderly man in a white turban came out, a cigarette already lit in his mouth.

  His eyes widened when he saw me. "Hey! What are you doing with my garbage?"

  "I'm not stealing it or anything. I just need it to stand on so I can get back into the dumpster. I lost something inside."

  He came towards me, smoke hanging between brown lips, and grabbed the other handle on the trash can. "No. You cannot have it."

  I pulled back, but he was strong and it didn't budge much. "Please. I really need to look in the bin. It's important."

  He yanked again, this time the handle came out of my hand, but the momentum of the can was too much and it toppled over, the lid exploding off and the garbage inside spilling out. He looked down at the leftover food and spoiled items piled at his feet then up at me, a look of anger on his wrinkled face.

  "Look what you have done, stupid girl."

  "I'm sorry, but you pulled it too hard. It's not my fault it fell over."

  "Now I have to clean." Huffing angrily, he bent down to start shoveled the garbage into the can. "All I wanted was to smoke my cigarette."

  "Look, I'll help you clean it, if you help me back into the dumpster."

  He glared at me, his bushy brown eyebrows furrowed together. It looked like a large caterpillar had taken up residence on his face. "No. Go away, or I will call police."

  Resigned to not being able to get back into the dumpster to search for my things, I bent down and helped the man shove the garbage back into the bin. I was already dirty having been laying in trash for however long, so the smell and feel of the substances I was touching didn't bother me so much. I probably smelt worse in comparison.

  When we were done, we lifted the can together and set it right back against the wall next to the back door of the restaurant. The man didn't look at me, but he didn't shout at me either so I figured he'd maybe forgiven me. But I was still without my cell phone or any money. And I needed to call someone to come get me.

  "I'm sorry about the garbage can."

  He just grunted and continued to smoke his cigarette.

  "Look, I lost my cell phone and all my money in the dumpster. Is it possible that I could use your phone?"

  "No."

  "Please?"

  He shook his head. "No."

  "You know I said please, and I helped you clean this mess up even though it wasn't my fault."

  He eyed me up and down. "You look like trouble."

  I sighed. "I know, I get that a lot. But I'm really not. I'm a nice girl who just happens to like looking like a freak."

  After glaring at me for a few moments, he dug into his front pants pocket and came away with a coin. He handed me a quarter. He motioned toward the street. "There is payphone around the corner."

  I took the money and thanking him, ran out of the alley toward the pay phone. I recognized the store on the corner and knew exactly where I was. Plunking the coin in the slot I started to dial my home number, then stopped. I pressed the receiver and the coin clunked down into the plastic tray. I couldn't phone my mom. She would freak out. And I couldn't explain to her what happened, because I had no clue.

  I slid out the quarter, popped it back into the slot and dialed Chloe's number. Chewing my thumb nail, I waited, feeling sick to my stomach. Thankfully she picked up on the third ring.

  "Hello?"

  "It's Salem."

  "Hey, how was it? Was it as good as you thought it would be?"

  "Um, can you come get me?"

  There was silence on her end. She must've heard the rising panic in my voice, and then her words came out in a garbled rush. "Are you all right? What happened? Where are you?"

  "I'm at a payphone on Third Avenue, you know by that HMV we sometimes go to."

  "What are you doing there?"

  I fidgeted with my bangs, pulling on them. "I don't know."

  I heard her intake of air. She did that when something really bothered her. Or when she was about to cry.

  Tears welled in my eyes. Now that I was talking about it, the seriousness of the situation slapped me in the face. Except it didn't hurt like it had before, the pain was on the inside. And that hurt a hell of lot more. It was one of those pains that couldn't be healed by a band aid and some quick first aid.

  Something terrible had happened to me. I was sure of it now. A girl didn't end up in a dumpster by accident. Something awful had occurred at the party, something I probably didn't want to remember. Ever.

  "I'm coming right now. Hang tight girl."

  "Thanks." I hung up as the tears started to roll down my cheeks. I wiped at them as I moved away from the payphone. There was a bus stop bench near by and I sat down on the edge of it away from the old lady sitting on the other side reading a paperback book.

  I brought my knees up to my chest and hugged them close. More tears streamed down my face. Now that they were uncorked I couldn't stop them up again.

  I tried not to think as I waited for Chloe, which of course was an impossible feat. It was like asking yourself not to breathe. Random thoughts filled my mind. Those of meeting Thane and how cool that had been and how uncool I had been, and then how I couldn't remember one thing after that. My mind went blank when I tried to picture anything after his lips brushed up against mine.

  Then I remembered drinking the beer Thane had given me. It had been open when he handed it to me. Had I been drugged? I shook my head, not believing that the lead singer of a popular band like Malice would even bother dropping a roofie into my drink. The guy probably got laid all the time; it wasn't like he had to beg for it. He certainly wouldn't have to drug a girl to sleep with her. And he certainly didn't have to drug me.

  But something had happened. It wasn't like I left the party, somehow got downtown and threw myself into the garbage bin. The club had been on the other side of the city.

  "Are you okay, honey?"

  The old lady was talking to me. I turned my head to look at her and nodded.

  "Do you need some money?" She started digging into her purse.

  "No," I blurted. "I'm fine, really. My friend is coming to get me."

  She smiled. It was a kind smile and made me think of my granny who lived in Canada. I hadn't seen her in three years. "Family troubles?"

  "No."

  "Boy trouble then?"

  "Something like that."

  She nodded, as if she knew it all along. "I'm sure whatever he's done, honey, he didn't mean it. Boys just don't think the same as girls." She chuckled. "We all know that their brains are in their pants, don't we?"

  I smiled at her.

  "You don't worry about it. He'll be back. If he wants you bad enough he won't ever let you go."

  The bus pulled up and I watched as the little old lady got on. As it drove off, I shivered thinking about what she'd just said to me. He'll be back. For some reason I felt an ominous shroud cover me. As if something even worse was going to happen. Although I couldn't possibly imagine what. The possibilities of what had happened to me were already pretty bad.

  Pulling my legs tighter to my chest, I started to shake, with teeth chattering, and I didn't stop until Chloe's car pulled up to the curb.

  Chapter 4

  "Were you, you know..."

  I glanced at Chloe as she drove. It had only taken her twenty minutes to drive downtown to pick me up. By her appearance I assumed I'd woken her when I called. She still had on her PJ bottoms—Hello Kitty smiled at me. "What?"

  She pointed to her crotch.
r />   My cheeks flushed. "I don't know."

  "Well, how do you feel? Are you hurting there?"

  For a few seconds I gauged my body, detecting the different places where I was sore and achy. I shook my head. "My legs are sore. My back and neck hurt. My stomach feels hollowed out. But that could be just because I'm hungry."

  "If you had sex, you'd definitely be feeling it. I was sore for three days after doing it with Nick."

  I looked out the side window as we drove. "TMI."

  "Do you want to go to a doctor just to make sure?"

  I shook my head. All I wanted was to go home, have a long hot shower and sleep for about thirty-six hours.

  "Are you sure? If you were raped—,"

  "The doctor will call the police. I don't want that kind of problem." I tugged at my bangs again. "It's too damn embarrassing. I don't even know if anything happened."

  "They won't, if we just go to the free clinic and you tell them you want to be tested for an STD."

  I eyed her incredulously. "And that's not embarrassing?"

  She shrugged. "At least you'd know."

  I looked out the window again and chewed on my thumb nail. The truth was I wasn't sure I really wanted to know what happened. Maybe I was better off not knowing. I could keep my fantasy and my sanity.

  "I just want to go home and shower and sleep. Oh and eat. I'm starving."

  "Okay, but I've got your back if you need me."

  I smiled at her. She was my best friend and had been since eighth grade. There wasn't anything we hadn't shared. "I know. Thanks."

  We drove in silence, well, except for the Sum 41 CD playing, for the last six minutes it took to get to my place. Chloe pulled to the curb on the treed lined street.

  She squeezed my hand before I got out. "Call me later, 'kay?"

  "I will." I opened the car door, slid out and trudged up the neatly cut front lawn to the light blue bungalow. When I reached the door, I put my hand on the knob but hesitated. My mom was going to be on me within seconds of entering. I had to prepare and get my game face on.